An Irreverant Look at Drinking

The subtitle of this blog promises, among other things, an irreverent look at food. Here is a hilarious bit on drinking:

Sorry, Stanley

Jameel over @ the Muqata takes note of the Jerusalem Post's shameless attempt to promote their Hebrew-language business magazine by taking a jab at the language aptitude of the Governor of the Bank of Israel, Stanley Fisher.

Anyone who has read the Jerusalem Post daily might want to reinterpret the ad: "Sorry, Stanley" is an apology to intelligent Anglo professionals living and working in Israel--Stanley Fisher being the most prominent among them--for the shabby journalism, lack of original content, and pathetic (if at all extant) copy-editing.

Tasting Beer

Some basic tips, here.

Blasphemy Challenge

'Nuff said.


For recent media attention, see this Nightline piece, and the wonderful FoxNews polemic.

The Cult of Originality

Please have a look at this fascinating review of Richard Posner's newest work: The Little Book of Plagiarism.
Posner essentially takes issue with the idea that a work "cannot be 'creative' unless it is 'original.'" He draws on historical precedent for furthering his contention: Shakespeare, T.S. Eliot, MLK Jr., are known to have unabashedly plagiarized. He also notes that "Jonathan Swift and Laurence Sterne 'denounced plagiarism in words plagiarized from earlier writers.'"

I'll let you know if I ever get a chance to read the book.

On the Idolatry of Materialism

You look:



Deep and profoundly disturbing. Now that I've figured out how to embed YouTube videos, we're gonna spice things up here a little bit.

Good News; Bad News

The good news is that 18 volunteers put themselves through the same dieting regimen as the producer of Super Size Me, though none of them experienced any the radical physical or psychological symptoms documented by Morgan Spurlock in the film.
The bad news is that bananas might go extinct in the next 10 years.

WaWaWeeWa

One of Borat's most notorious ejaculations, "WaWaWeeWa," has invited potential legal action. Israeli actor Dov Glickman apparently decided to pursue legal action after seeing Sacha Baron-Cohen use the expression as he began his remarks accepting his Golden Globe award the other week. Glickman claims--and most Israelis who remember will confirm this--that he came up with the expression 16 years ago, and he considers it to be both his trademark, and apparently, intellectual property, as well.

The accusation and potential legal battle invite some interesting questions:
1. Can anyone sue to protect a line/word/phrase which they feel is their own? Can Arnold Schwarzenegger sue anyone who says "I'll be back" or "Hasta la vista, baby"?
2. Supposing that the suit is brought to court, under whose jurisdiction is it tried? American, British, Israeli, The Hague?
3. Assuming that Glickman is victorious, what ramifications will the suit have for the entertainment industry? How will the court decide on an appropriate sum for compensation?

(via NRG)

Recent Plagiarism

Microsoft's much touted Vista operating system is widely considered a straight up rip-off of Apple's OS X. See this entertaining and sardonic video by the New York Times's David Pogue, who illustrates why this is so. See also this review of Vista, in which the author concludes:

Get a Mac with OS X unless your home-computer needs are Windows-specific, or if the fine Media Center is a must for you. You likely won't regret a Vista-PC purchase, but I'm betting you'll enjoy a Mac much more.

Espresso Woes

Getting breakfast this morning, just a simple espresso and pastry turned into a 1.5 hour long ordeal. Here's a summary:
1. Cuppa' Joe, 10:00 AM: This is the closest coffee joint to my place, and I figured that I'd get my caffeine fix there. The inattentive barrista made my coffee only after I reminded him that he forgot my order. In typical Israeli fashion (i.e., the customer is never right), he told me that I hadn't paid and therefore he hadn't made the coffee. I told him that it's not my fault that he took my order without putting it in the computer and asking me for the six shekels. The coffee was weak, lukewarm, and the whole experience ruined my appetite for ordering one of their pastries.
2. Ne'eman Bakery, 10:30 AM: I figured that I would pop over to the Ne'eman Bakery in Talpiyot, one of which is conveniently located on the grounds of a gas station. After slogging my way through unreasonably heavy Monday morning traffic, and having a near accident on Emek Refaim (a Hebrew University professor was gesticulating that I move forward one inch so that she could squeeze through and make a left up Graetz) I reached the gas station, only to see that the bakery was closed for renovations.
3. Hadar Mall, 10:45 AM: This convenient little mall in Talpiyot has an Aroma and a Ne'man; the former now became relevant because the Cuppa' Joe coffee was way too weak. Even at 10:45 on a Monday morning, there was not one parking spot to be found, and the Israeli smart alacks had even parking in all of the no-parking zones. I've only seen a scene like this on Fridays, never on a Monday morning.
4. Malcha Mall, 11:15 AM: It took about 30 minutes to traverse the distance between Talpiyot and Malcha. First I hit Ne'eman, and about 10 minutes after I had selected my pastry, I was able to convince the cashier that the lowly me was worthy of her attention. She took my money begrudgingly. A trek upstairs to Aroma, where the cashier didn't understand why I would give her 21 NIS when the coffee cost only 6 NIS. I guess Israelis like having thousands of coins jingling in their pockets.

In America, my morning would have gone as follows:
Starbucks, 10:00 AM: I order my coffee. The cashier is attentive, greets me with hello, and asks for my money. If the coffee is weak/lukewarm, he/she apologizes profusely, makes me another coffee, and maybe even gives me a free pastry. I go on my merry way.

Lessons learned:
1. I chose to live here, it's my fault.
2. Boycott Cuppa' Joe.

The Ideal Breakfast

In one of the better known scenes in the movie Pulp Fiction, Jules remarks, albeit facetiously, "Hamburgers. The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast."

Speaking of nutritious breakfasts, a mad scientist has engineered caffeinated doughnuts!

Weekend Wine Roundup

As a follow-up to the last post, here is a breakdown of the wines consumed at Friday night's meal, though without the ability to write any tasting notes as I was drinking, I am precluded from going into specifics regarding each wine.
1. Segal's Rehasim Cabernet, 2002: This was a delightful wine, with the requisite Cabernet spice, but the velvety smoothness of a very fine bottle. Far and away the best bottle of the night.
2. Castel Grand Vin, 2003: Courtesy of a bartender/sommelier friend of mine: One of the best wines I have ever tasted and one of the most highly regarded kosher Israeli wines in the world. Perhaps it didn't open fully last night or maybe my palate was contaminated from the first course. It just tasted off.
3. Psagot Port: I still promise to dedicate a full post to the history and traditions surrounding the making and consumption of port. The wine was very rich and tasty, and the wacky traditions made dessert all the more entertaining. But none of those present at the meal (including myself) was able to appreciate what set this expensive bottle apart from traditional, sweet Kiddush wine.

Port of Call

This Shabbat, I will be sharing a meal with friends and relatives. As is my custom, I have selected a unique bottle of wine as both gift to the hosts and complement to the meal.
There seems to be an aversion in the wine drinking community to sweet red wines. The only acceptable sweet wines are invariably white (i.e., Muscat, Gewürztraminer) and may be imbibed only with dessert. However, there do exist sweet red wines (not Manischewitz!) for the discriminating connoisseur's palate. One such wine is "Port." The bottle we will be drinking, from the Psagot winery, is pictured.

After Shabbat, we will discuss the fascinating history of the wine and its drinking etiquette, and I will post my tasting notes.

Help Wanted Ad

Hasn't been published yet in any of the Israeli dailies:

I should add that Israel also needs a Welfare Minister, an appointment, which, for whatever reason, PM Olmert continues to avoid making.

They Just Don't Get It

You've probably all heard, by now, Moshe Katzav's vitriolic, invective filled speech from yesterday, in which he dedicated a significant portion of his rantings to deriding the media for their skewed presentation of his alleged misdoings.

Another, less publicized speech was delivered yesterday deriding the media's coverage of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and whitewashing the issue of militant Islam, at the Herzliya Conference on the Balance of Israel’s National Security. I don't know very much about the author, but 99% of his points hit home. Let me know if you agree.

Sharon Awakens

Well, not really. Sorry if I got your hopes up. But this parody, overheard on the radio, found on the Internet, and translated here for the first time into English, is more prescient than ever, given today's events in Israel. Enjoy...

SETTING: Tel Hashomer Hospital; A rainy evening.
CHARACTERS: Shmil, Hospital Orderly
G., Security Guard
Ariel Sharon, Himself

Just one orderly, Shmil, got messed over with the rotation and had to spend the night in the room of the sleeping former Prime Minister, Ariel Sharon. Everyone knows that he is no longer the PM; just he doesn’t know. Shmil sits and peels an apple. G., of the Shabak guard detail, sleeps soundly. Suddenly, the instruments and monitors in the room begin beeping, lights begin flashing... The PM wakes up.

“I’ve never slept like that,” he says. “Buddy, get me Adler. I have an idea for a new policy!”

“Good morning, sir,” says Shmil. “How do you feel?”

“Hungry as hell,” answers the PM. “Where am I?”

The security guard continues sleeping while Shmil begins to fill in the PM on what has transpired.

“So you got messed over with watching the PM tonight, eh?”

“I’m sorry to tell you sir, but you’re no longer PM.”

After a few moments of awkward silence, Sharon asks: “Who replaced me?”

Shmil answers, “Ehud Olmert.”

“Olmert? That putz from Jerusalem? What does he know? What if war breaks out, how will he know how to lead the army? Good thing Shaul is still around.”

“Shaul Mofaz is now transportation minister,” notes Shmil.

“So who’s the defense minster?”

“Peretz,” says Shmil.

“That old fart is still alive,” asks Sharon.

“Not Peres; Peretz, Amir Peretz,” mumbles the trembling Shmil.

“What, are they crazy? I close my eyes for a second and you let a union boss take over national security? Not every factory in Dimona is the same; does he know that? Listen, buddy, get Omri here right away. He’ll sort things out.”

“Sorry sir, but Omri is on his way to prison.”

“To prison,” exclaims Sharon. “For that nonsense! I don’t believe it. I need a lawyer quickly. Wake up Klagsbald.”

“Klagsbald is also on his way to jail,” clarifies Shmil. “He got into an accident, wasn’t paying attention, and killed a young mother and her little son.”

“Get me Yitzchaki, then. Avigdor always knows how to squeeze our way out of these things.”

“Sorry to inform you sir, but there are accusations that Yitzchaki was giving illegal consultations on income tax.”

“It can’t be. I know Avigdor. They’re framing him. Get me the chief of police!”

“I’m sorry, sir, but Karadi is involved with an investigation.”

“He should be, he’s a police officer.”

“No sir, this is an investigation of him.”

Sharon takes a deep breath. “It can’t be that our justice system has just broken down. We need to get Karadi and Yitzchaki out of this. Get the minister for internal security. Tzachi, right?”

“Sir, there have been indictments passed on Hanegbi on various counts of bribery and deception. He is no longer the minister for internal security.”

“What about the justice minister? Who did Olmert appoint?”

“Chaim Ramon.”

“So get him in here!”

“Sorry, sir, there are indictments against Ramon as well for indecent acts.”

“What? Let’s go straight to the president. Get Katzav. He’s still the president, right?”

“Sorry to inform you, sir, but Katzav has recused himself. He’s been charged with the rape and sexual harrassment of five women, as well as illegal wiretapping.”

“Ah, that Katzav. I always thought he was a close talker. Listen, this is a terrible situation (lit. “on the face”). I need the Chief of Staff, Bugi. Oh, sorry, Halutz. He’s OK, right?”

“Halutz has stepped down, and a replacement has yet to be officially appointed. There was this stock thing, but there’s nothing criminal about that. His main problem was the Lebanon War.”

“But during the Lebanon War he was a little kid, hardly a Cessna pilot!”

“The second Lebanon War, sir. You were asleep, remember? There was a war... we, uh, how shall I say this delicately: lost. But the PM asked that we wait patiently. Perhaps the victory will come along later.”

Sharon looked around; looked into the fluorescent light and around the hospital suite in which he found himself. G. the security guard was still asleep.

“What’s your name, by the way?|

“Shmil, sir.”

“And what is your job here?”

“Orderly, sir.”

“Orderly, eh? So do me a favor. Don’t ever tell anyone about this conversation.”

“You can trust me, sir.”

“I’m going back to sleep. Shana Tova."

No Taxation Without Inhalation?

The state of Tennessee has pulled off the unthinkable. While it is illegal in Tennessee to buy, sell, or possess drugs, the state has levied a tax on these substances, much like there are taxes on alcohol and tobacco. The article in Time explains the way in which tax stamps are purchased anonymously and affixed on packages of contraband when they are sold. Failure to comply means that a big drug bust will land you in jail both on drug charges and charges of tax evasion, which "can exceed 10 times the original cost."
This statute obviously raises important constitutional, not to mention moral, issues. Should illegal gambling parlors also have to anonymously purchase tax stamps from the government? What about unlicensed businesses, or doctors who work without the right permits? While Tennessee has made it clear that purchasing the stamps does not grant any sort of legal immunity from drug charges, there is an implicit sanctioning (more on this word in a separate post) of drug commerce inherent in the state's collection method, which facilitates the anonymous purchase of the stamps. If the state didn't want to send such mixed messages, they should either repeal the tax, or arrest everyone who comes to buy the stamps.

For your amusement, here are some other strange (and unfair) taxes currently levied on American citizens in 23 different states.

I Love Sects, Part I

One of the many topics that I am studying is assessing sectarian controversies from the Second Temple period, and particularly being sensitive to the ramifications of sectarianism when approaching rabbinic sources (e.g., Mishna, Talmud).
It is a popular notion in scholarly circles to "write off" rabbinic law as sectarian polemics. In other words, there are those who contend that Hazal were not speaking for themselves; their formulation of law was always fighting off their opponents. In the few places where there is an intersection of rabbinic and sectarian literature, we can test this approach.

The case of the Red Heifer is of particular importance when discussing the contentious sectarian debate. The Sadducees were notoriously more stringent than the Pharisees (=Hazal) when it came to matters of ritual purity. As is apparent from Tractate Parah, even Hazal took enormous precautions when it came to the preparation of the Red Heifer to distance all of the parties involved from even the most remote possibility of becoming ritually unclean. These are just two of the provisions:
(1) The Kohen Gadol was sequestered for seven days, and sprinkled with the ashes of the previous Red Heifer on every day in order to ensure his ritual purity (Parah 3:1);
(2) Pregnant women were brought to a special colony in Jerusalem which was built in such a way that dead bodies buried underneath could not contaminate the above occupants. Children were born, isolated, and raised there specifically to fulfill the task of delivering the water from the Shilo'ah Spring which was mixed with the issues in order to facilitate their sprinkling (Parah 3:2).

Thus it is somewhat audacious to find that the priest responsible for cremating the Red Heifer was deliberately made impure by the elders before he undertook his task (Parah 3:7). This is astonishing, considering the aforementioned precautions, not to mention the litany of others! Why was this done? In order to show up the Sadducees, who, in holding with their general stringencies in all purity related matters, required that the priest responsible for cremating the the Red Heifer complete his personal purification process, which necessitates ritual immersion and sunset. Without the sunset, one who has only performed ritual immersion is considered a טבול יום, a status which is between purity and impurity and shares the leniencies and strictures of each respectively. The Sadducees, apparently, had the cremating priest wait until after sunset in order that he be unquestionably pure. The Pharisees/Hazal, on the other hand, would deliberately contaminate the priest, who would then immerse himself, and he would perform the ceremony as a טבול יום.

Still interested? There's more to come...

Israel Flu Epidemic

It's enough to watch the nightly news in Israel (preferably at 8 PM with Yonit Levy) to know that there is a major flu outbreak in Israel, of epidemic proportions. Hospital occupancy is reported at over 150% around the country, and the nightly videos of sickly patients forced to sleep in hallways are always unsettling.

If I remember correctly from the last newscast, there are approximately 200,000 more Israelis sick with the flu this year at this time than there were last year during the same period. The flu shot is widely available, cheap, and highly recommended by the health authorities. Does it not provide immunity to the strain currently afflicting Israel? It does. So why aren't people running to get themselves immunized?

Back in late October, three Israelis died, within a 48 hour period, from flu shots they received at the same clinic. A major PR crisis ensued for the Ministry of Health, which while quickly calling for the cessation of all use of the flu shot and an immediate investigation of what happened, quickly turned to כסת"ח mode (כיסוי תחת = cover up). The chain-smoking Minister of Health declared that a scientific investigation had proven that all was well, and with a fake smile, he took a flu shot (or so we were made to believe) before members of the press.

The כסת"ח, apparently, continued through October. Eleven more Israelis died of the flu shot during the month of October, and the Ministry of Health did not see it fit to report this to the public. And they are still calling for people to get immunized. I'd rather be sick for a week than...

Bilingualism and Stroke

Another medical topic concerning bilingualism:
A professor of mine was telling us about how one of his older colleagues, and a prolific polymath of a scholar, had recently suffered a stroke. Though he lectured in Hebrew for years, and was no doubt fluent in English, German, French, etc., following the stroke, he was able to communicate only in Yiddish, his first language.

Apparently, there is a group of scientists who have formed the Bi- and Multi-lingual Stroke Group, which examines these types of cases in order to gain a better understanding of how strokes affect the brain as well as "developing new language learning techniques or new behavioural treatments for stroke patients to further enhance brain plasticity and language recovery."

For volunteer information (they need brains to scan) and qualifications, see here. And you get a free copy of your brain scan as a souvenir.

Bilingualism and Dementia

A new study has suggested that "the lifelong use of two languages can help delay the onset of dementia symptoms by four years compared to people who are monolingual." That the study comes from a conglomerate of Canadian scientists is significant in assessing the objectivity of the study, considering the country's well known advocacy of bilingualism (though see the interesting statistics here). Nonetheless, I'll take those four years any day.

(Via Wired)

Why is Marijuana Illegal?

An informative, diachronic study, here.

Giving Teens More Sleep

Though I don't recall being as tired during high school as I was during college, this study certainly rings true for most teenagers, much to the chagrin of parents and educators.

How Does Peekvid Work?

Good question. The site, which reminds me of the good 'ole free days of Napster, has no reference on Wikipedia, and my brief Google search didn't reveal anything of substance. I found this comment on a blog which discusses intellectual property law. The substance of comment essentially corroborates what I've been saying all along:

The interesting thing about peekvid is that it is taking advantage of the inherent problem with the whole idea of Web 2.0. The idea behind peekvid is to basically intentionally make the file name so random that unless someone knew it was there no one would be able to find it on their servers (since they wouldn't know what to search for). Then the person who made up the random file name,'encoded' information, then places the 'decoded' file information on a different site. I don’t know who is liable in this case. I had the notion that the site that hosts the file is liable which would make peekvid perfectly legal. Is it illegal to direct someone to illegal content?

Let's hope this anomalous loophole is enough to keep Peekvid (and its copycats) online for many years to come!

iPhone Conspiracy

It's official. Apple has released the much touted iPhone, and they have done so with their trademark flair. The specifications are enough to make any techie drool, and the sexiness factor outdoes even that of the black iPods.
There's a problem, though. Apple doesn't own the trademark to the term "iPhone." In fact, like I mentioned in a previous post, Linksys released a product by the name iPhone just a few weeks ago, during the peak period of speculation about Apple releasing a phone by the same name. When the Linksys product was released, many began doubting the veracity of the rumors about Apple's "iPhone"; this in turn created tremendous buzz.

My conspiracy theory of the day: Linksys was in on it with Apple. This had to have been the case anyway, being that Apple is touting their phone as the "iPhone" when Linksys has a product bearing the same name. There is no chance that Apple would get involved with such an obvious case of copyright infringement. Perhaps Apple went around looking for a company that would release a product called "iPhone" in the weeks leading up to today's announcement in order to create even more fantastic rumors. I would imagine that the Linksys trademark on iPhone expired yesterday. Or, that negotiations are ongoing.

UPDATE: The folks at Microsoft have just announced that they are releasing a ZuneFon to compete with Apple's iPhone!! Here's a photo. Enjoy!

iConjecture

The past weeks and months have been rife with speculation regarding Apple's "Next Big Thing." The rumor truly dominating Internet forums has been that of the iPhone. The iPhone was/is supposed to be a cellphone/iPod with all of the stylishness and finesse that you would expect from an Apple product. There was a lot of excitement a few weeks ago when some insiders said that the iPhone was to be launched imminently, and that it will diverge significantly from our expectations. The iPhone was released, and it was a huge surprise. Turns out that Apple never even had the rights to the name iPhone; the copyright holder was Linksys, and they indeed released their iPhone, though it had nothing to do with the much hyped Apple product.
Tomorrow will see the keynote speech at Apple's MacWorldExpo to be delivered by Apple CEO Steve Jobs. This speech is when the new cutting edge products are revealed and when so-called "early adopters" begin thinking about how much refinancing their house will cost them in interest this year. Here is a dude who thinks that he knows exactly what's going down tomorrow. I'd be surprised if even half of his predictions come to fruition.

Nuclear Naivety

My buddy Josh Frankel has decided not to subscribe to the usual Israeli fatalism (when your number's up, your number's up) with regard to the Iranian nuclear conflict. No worries, says Josh. This is just going to be a repeat of the Cold War, with both sides rational enough not to mount an attack, as each party knows that a nuclear attack invites the annihilation of both.
Let's highlight two of Josh's assumptions, and then illustrate why his neat theorem falls apart:
1. Josh assumes that Israel's military policy is rooted in reason.
2. Josh assumes that Iran's military policy is rooted in reason.

As for Israel, look at the debacle that was the second Lebanon War. Look at how tens of thousands of cluster bombs did not detonate, how destruction was sown with no palpable results, how there is not one iota of intelligence on the state or whereabouts of the kidnapped soldiers. Look at how there was never a formal declaration of war, at the state of the bomb shelters in the North, at the Chief of Staff's attitude that infantry are expendable cannon fodder. What makes you think that there is anything rational about Israel's military and diplomatic policy?
As for Iran, I'll just paraphrase what Benjamin Netanyahu told the world press throughout the Lebanon War. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad subscribes to a radical, eschatological brand of Islam which yearns for the Mahdi Apocalypse. What is scary about Ahmadinejad's nuclear threats is squaring them with his religious beliefs: for the Mahdi to arrive, 2/3 of the world's population is meant to die as either direct or indirect casualties of war. It won't matter if Israel retaliates; the ball will have already been set in motion for worldwide nuclear war, thereby bringing this crazed despot's idea of salvation closer to fruition.

Josh, I think you're the one who needs the reality check.

WikiLeaks

I'll be spending a lot of time on this site, once it's launched. WikiLeaks purports to be an "uncensorable version of WikiPedia for untraceable mass document leaking and analysis."
Ironically, word of the existence of the site, known to just a select few, was itself leaked last week.

Introduction

This blog represents yet another experimental foray of mine into the world of blogging. Some of you know me, and most of you probably don't. Those in the former group recognize that I am now in a far better position to voice my opinions freely than I was in recent years. For those of you who don't know me and don't know why that is the case, your compensation is that you get to reap the dividends of my newfound situation.

As you have probably gathered from the title of the blog, I'm not going to be pushing Kool-Aid. What many would characterize as irreverent, I see as brutal honesty, inconvenient as it might be to conventional wisdom, norms, dogmas, etc. We're going to take an honest look at religion, especially Judaism, but with an eye to Christianity, Islam, and the symbiotic relationship between the two groups (i.e., Judaism on the one hand, and the other religions on the other). Current events, in the American and Israeli realms, will be covered with an equal dose of skepticism, and question-asking. Lastly, I haven't forgotten about the need to keep my readers entertained and eager to return. I guess time will tell.